Three Friends on a Pirate Ship
by silverblood13
Summary: Ah, I love my grandma. For our birthdays, she sent me and my friends into the world of One Piece after forcing us to eat Devil Fruits. Side effects of this present include chaos, mischief, and fun. Thanks, Gramma Betty.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : **Same story ( sort a ), just re-written. And edited. Thank you, Sarah.

**Disclaimer :** I don't own One Piece! If I did own One Piece, it'd be a lot more gay.

**FULL SUMMARY **

_Dazhan's grandmother is a bit... out there. _  
_So, it was only to be expected when she gave Dazhan and _  
_her friends 'strange fruits', a few notes, and an an apparently magical backpack. _  
_Not only does she do that, but this old lady finds it appropriate to send the girls into a fiction world. _  
_This of course results in chaos, violence... and a heck of a lot of fun._  
_Ah, thanks for the birthday presents Gramma._

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**Three Friends on a Pirate Ship**

**Chapter 1**

"Sarah, get your foot out of my face, and Courtney, stop drinking that milk!"

"But, it's _gourmet_ milk."

"How can milk be _gourmet_?"

"… Higher in price slapped onto it and sold to me by a guy with a snarky accent."

"… That makes sense."

"Ugggh."

Dazhan, Sarah, and Courtney. In a car together. Yeah, this is usually what goes on when that happens. Dazhan groaned again. "Just shut up." Courtney continued sipping her milk from the front seat, watching Dazhan drive. She stuck out her tongue a bit. Sarah blew Dazhan a raspberry from the backseat of the car, not moving her foot from aside Dazhan's head. "Oi, lighten up, Dizzy."

Dazhan sighed at the pet name. "Yeah, whatever." She looked at her watch. "Tch. We're gonna be late…" Courtney arched a brow. "Why're we going to your grandma's house anyway?"

Dazahan shrugged. "Since our birthdays are so close, she wanted to give us _all _presents instead of just me. So we're going for free stuff," she laughed, making a turn.

Sarah cheered. "Yay! Free stuff!... Wait. We're going to your Grandma _Betty's_. That lady is scary!"

Dazhan grinned. "Yeah, but she always gives me, and now you, awesome crap. Like, a couple years ago, she gave me a giant neon purple sneaker that glows in the dark and has a button that plays Lady Gaga songs sped up.

Sarah burst out laughing. "So _that's _where you got that thing from." Courtney giggled. "I want a giant sneaker that does that."

The three friends mindlessly babbled on, talking about nothing in particular. Dazhan screamed. Sarah jumped. "What, what?" Dazhan yelled out, "I'm on the wrong side of the _road_" She swerved around, receiving a generous amount of swears and honks from other drivers, until she was on the correct side.

Courtney blinked. "Shouldn't you be driving on the _left_ side of the road since we're in England?"

"Uh, Courtney? We're in_ New_ England. Y'know, Maine?"

"I thought we were in Vermont!"

Dazhan contemplated beating her head against the steering wheel. "We're in Massachusetts."

More and more mindless chatter occurred until a certain song popped up on the CD that was currently in the player.

_BON VOYAGE! mabushii hikari o mezashite_

_bokura no KIRAMEKI wa shizumanai taiyou_

_yukou hito kakera no yuuki hirogete_

_mirai e no SHIPPO chotto mieta yo._

Sarah started happily singing along. Dazhan was humming in turn. Courtney... was confused. "I don't remember that being on my MC Hammer CD."

Sarah looked up. "No harm in it going from _Can't Touch This _to _One Piece_. Now is there?" Courtney shrugged.

Dazhan looked over at the two, now parked in a driveway. "Hey guys, we're here."

Sarah stretched, then jumped out of the car. "Heh… Grandma Betty's house is as pink as ever." Dazhan patted Sarah on the shoulder. "Yeah, now it's _hot_ pink instead of just flamingo pink."

Courtney got out of the car, giving that pink house a look over, then turning to Dazhan. "Does she have milk?"

Dazhan nodded. "Yes, Courtney. She has milk. And a shit ton of cookies."

Suddenly, Courtney moved to the house's front door with such speed that it seemed that she hadn't moved at all. She began viciously knocking on the door. "Gramma Betty, Gramma Betty!"

The door opened, revealing a plump white-haired old lady in the door frame. "Well, hello hello, Courtney. I set out some milk and cookies for you," she smiled.

With that, Courtney was a-wall.

Sarah waved nervously at Betty. "Hey there, Mrs. Blackwell."

Dazhan waved spastically "HEY, GRANMA BETTY!"

Betty just shook her head and smiled, "Come on in before Courtney drinks all the milk." The girls sped past her and into the long hallway, taking many turns, right and left.

"Hey, Dizzy, this isn't the living room. It's the garage," Sarah pointed out.

"…I was following you?" Dazhan replied.

"Girls, the living room is this way," Betty called from behind them. They snapped around and walked into a spacious room. In front of them were a truckload of cookies and glasses (mostly empty) of milk.

"Hey. Save some milk for us too Carebear," Dazhan whined snagging a milk glass from Courtney.

"Yeah, don't be a milk pig," Sarah said pointing at her.

"Sit, sit. Eat and I will be back with your presents," Betty stated, already out the door and in the hall. The girls sighed, continuing their mindless chatter that they had in the car. After about five minutes, she was back.

"Ok, Courtney, here is a backpack, a note and a… lychee for you. A giant lychee. Yeah." Courtney took all three, staring at the fruit. "Uhh… It's the size of a basketball."

Betty nodded. "It's… genetically engineered. It's just huge. More flavor you know."

Courtney shrugged, taking a sip of milk. "Whatev."

Betty grabbed something else, handing it to Sarah. "Alright, here's a tote bag, a note, and a fig…"

Sarah arched a brow. "A genetically engineered fig?" Betty grinned. "Yes."

Betty finally turned to Dazhan. "Okay, sweetie. Here you go." She handed her a note and what appeared to be a… genetically engineered… crowberry. "No bag?" Dazhan asked.

Betty smirked. "No bag." She handed Dazhan a purse. "A panda bear shaped purse." Dazhan blinked. "….. Awesome."

Betty nodded again, smiling. "Alright… Don't read the notes or open the bags yet, okay? But… eat the fruits. Now… Uh… They'll spoil."

Dazhan was cautiously sniffing her 'crowberry'. "Uh, Gramma Betty? These… How long did it take you to make them look like Devil Fruits? I didn't even know you watched _One Piece_."

Sarah snickered. "Hey look, mine's a logia!" She sniffed at her 'fig'. "Hum… Should figs smell… minty?"

Betty looked around nervously. "Just _eat_ them!" She shot the girls a glare.

The three of them shivered, each taking a large bite of theirs.

Dazhan stuck out her tongue after swallowing. "It tastes like burnt… chicken?"

Sarah coughed a bit. "Ugh… 'Zan? Y'know that taste you get in your mouth when you drink orange juice right after brushing your teeth. Yeah. Ew."

Courtney twitched. "It tastes like paper and metal. Ick."

Betty sighed. "Right, right. Uhh… I need to show you this fabulous painting that I have in my loft!" She grabbed the girls by their shirts, dragging them off.

Once in Betty's loft, there was indeed a painting. It was of an ocean shore, aside an island that looked positively beautiful. There were seashells and what looked to be baby turtles on the beach sand. A quite large turtle was swimming along in the ocean water.

Dazhan, Sarah, and Courtney all gawked at it. "Iya… So pretty," swooned Courtney. Sarah blinked a few times at it, before stepping back. "Hey, hey… The… The big turtle moved." Dazhan looked closely at it. "Well, would you look at that. Gramma, how'd you manage to do th—"

" 'Kay, bye guys! See you later! Be safe!" Betty shouted.

The girls looked back slightly, wondering why she said that, until they all felt a hand push them forward. They all felt the feel of an ocean breeze touch their skin before everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Three Friends on a Pirate Ship**

**Chapter 2**

The first of the trio to wake up was Dazhan, but she just looked around to find Sarah. She crawled over to her and then attached herself to her friend's shin and promptly went back to sleep.

After a while, Dazhan woke up again. She noticed two things. A turtle was biting at her ankle, and Sarah had kicked her in the face.

"… Ow… Huh? Where the _hell_ am I?" Dazhan screeched when she realized she didn't recognize the beach they were on.

She jumped up and ran around in a few circles before tripping over a large rock. "That hurt," she muttered picking herself up.

She turned to glare at the rock only to come nose to nose with a medium-sized sea turtle. She screamed and scooted back a few feet. Someone threw a black boot at her.

"Shut up. I'm trying to sleep here… And sweep this floor," Sarah growled rolling over. When she did that, she felt something cold press against her nose. She groggily opened her eyes to see a baby sea turtle. "Well, aren't you adorable. Eh…." She looked around. "What the fu- Where the hell am I?"

"That's what I said," muttered Dazhan from a few feet away. "Uh…" Dazhan looked around. "Hey, where's my…" She looked behind her. A large sea turtle was carrying her purse away. "Hey! Get back here!" She ran off.

Sarah groaned, petting the baby sea turtle lightly. "Hey, Courtney! Where are ya?"

A mumble came from a nearby palm tree. " 'M up here…"

Sarah looked up to see Courtney hanging off of one of the larger palm leaves. "Uh… How'd you get up there?"

Courtney shrugged, looking around. "Huh. One strong palm tree." Courtney tumbled down to the sandy ground. "…." Courtney tilted her head.

"What're you starin' at?"

Courtney absently pointed to the ocean behind Sarah.

Sarah raised a brow, looking behind her. "What the…" Her eyes widened. "Meep," she said in a tiny voice.

"What?" asked Courtney. "It's just… a… giant sea turtle that looks bigger than Rhode Island…"

The huge sea turtle looked over at the girls. It gave a long yawn that ended in a snap.

Dazhan came back paused looked at the sea turtle and said, "Dude, that thing is bigger than my car… but then again it _was_ a bug," she shrugged then jumped, "Aaaahhh, my pocket vibrated?" she reached into her back pocket.

"Say what?" Sarah asked. Dazhan pulled out a small piece of paper.

"It says 'You girls can read your notes now'… It's in Grandma's handwriting."

Sarah just looked at her.

"Oh don't look at me in that tone of voice, Lou. Just read your note that the old lady gave you,"

The girls all pulled out the notes that Betty had given them. After about five seconds they all yelled gawked at each other.

"So... Who wants to read first?" Courtney asked. Dazhan and Sarah stared at her. "Okaaay… Me first."

Courtney started reading her note aloud. " 'Hey, honey! Okay, you ate the Fortune-Fortune Fruit. Basically, it allows you to be pretty much invincible to physical harm. Although, this can become null and void if the person trying to harm you is using devil fruit abilities also. So, be careful. Oh, and as you know, you won't be able to swim anymore. Sorry. Your backpack holds your personal stuff (yes, that means milk too) along with any weapons that you yourself might want to use. Also… Your bag just has a bunch of random stuff in it. Not even kidding. You could find just about anything in there. With love, Betty.'"

Courtney blinked. "… Cool."

Sarah sighed, shaking her head. "Guess me next?" She cleared her throat. " 'Kay. 'Heey, Pumpkin. You ate the Frost-Frost Fruit. So, you can cool down water molecules to create frost, and sometimes even compact them to make ice (it's great for parties). Your tote is like Courtney's with it's personal stuff and weapons, but yours alone holds household items. This is like things you might need for cleaning, electrical appliance that you might need that you wouldn't be able to get where you are, books, magazines, clothes, stuffed animals (;D), etc. And as you've already guessed, you can't swim. Not like you could _before_ you ate that fruit, eh? Have fun.' "

Sarah laughed lightly, motioning for Dazhan to read hers.

Dazhan gave a long whistle before reading her own note. " 'Hey there, Zani. You ate the Crow-Crow Fruit. No, you don't turn into a bird. You sprout giant crow wings (like in that game thing you play). So, you can fly with them of course, but while you have the wings out, you're bones go hollow. So, be careful about that. Moooving on, your purse. Your purse holds simply holds food, drink, and stuff to help you make said food and drink. Oh, and… Ha. You can't swim anymore. Reaaaaally sorry about that, sugar. XOXO, Grandma Betty.' "

Dazhan blinked a few times, then crashed down to her knees, throwing her fists up in a comical gesture. "Nooooooooo!"

Sarah patted Dazhan on the head. "There, there." Courtney also patted Dazhan. "Hey, Sarah? I expected you to freak out more… Why aren't you freaking out?"

Sarah laughed. "Because, Courtney, dear. I am in _denial_. This'll all sink in later. And believe me, you'll know when it does."

Courtney nodded, looking around. "Uhm… Are we just supposed to stay on this beach, or what?"

Dazhan got up, shrugging. "Ionno. Maybe we should just wander arou-,"

_BUZZZZ._

Dazhan looked towards her pocket, wide-eyed. "Did my… _pocket just vibrate_?" Sarah arched an eyebrow, digging a hand into Dazhan's pocket. She pulled out a small note. "No way…" Sarah opened up the note, and read it aloud. "Phew, glad that worked. Anyway, girls, a ship should be stopping at the beach you're on soon. Leave when you see it, and follow the path through those palm trees. It'll take you to the village here. Just hang at the pub until someone you might recognize gets there."

Courtney stared at the paper. "What a crazy old bat."

The girls did as they were told, Dazhan chatting to Sarah all the while as they watched Courtney build a sand castle. Sarah was petting the baby sea turtle from before. "Can I keep the turtle?" Dazhan raised a brow. "C'mon! He's so cute! And every pirate crew needs a pet."

Courtney lifted her head. "What makes you think Betty sent us here to be pirates?"

Sarah casually replied, "What makes you think she didn't? I mean, what point would there be to send us here just to make us regular citizens. And I highly doubt we're here to be _Marines_."

They all burst out laughing at that. "If we were Marines," said Dazhan through her laughter. "We'd get slaughtered by whoever our leader was for being last and mouthing off, ahaha!"

Courtney snickered. "Gosh, what if we got Smoker?"

Sarah laughed harder. "Pfft. We'd steal his cigars. And maybe Tashigi's glasses just for the hell of it!"

The baby turtle made teeny snapping sounds. Sarah looked down at it, still giggling. "What's up?" It stretched it's neck forward. Sarah looked forward too, out into the ocean. "Hey, a ship." Indeed it was. There was a large pirate ship sailing their way. It must've been only thirty to forty yards away.

Dazhan jumped up, grabbing Sarah's and Courtney's arms. "C'mon, let's book it!"

They walked maybe about fifteen minutes before coming upon a quaint village. Children were running around, chasing turtles. Sarah pet the baby one in her hand again. "This island is really fond of turtles, huh?"

"Seems so…," mumbled Courtney, her eyes darting around in search of the pub. "Found it!" she said, pointing a little ways off.

They ran into the bar, taking in the scenery. Pirates, Marines, pirates giving Marines dirty looks, Marines giving pirates dirty looks, the occasional regular Joe, a few prostitutes. Yep. Typical.

Sarah pet the turtle more. "Hey, Dizzy? Is there even a drinking age here?" Dazhan shrugged. "Well, _Japan's_ drinking age is twenty, right? But, people younger than twenty drink in this universe. Aren't Nami and Zoro are eighteen and nineteen, I think. So, I guess not."

"Awesome…," said Sarah, looking over at a group of Marines that were but a mere foot away, sitting at another table. Two drunken ones were hugging eachother, one giving the other a kiss on the cheek. Sarah smiled lightly.

"Hahaha!" laughed a third Marine. "Fucking faggots."

Sarah scowled at the man. "Don't say that." He turned his head, smirking. "Oho. And why shouldn't I?" Sarah rolled her eyes. "Three reasons. One, it's extremely offensive. Two, it's politically incorrect. Three, they're _drunk_. You'd be kissin' guys too if you were drunk."

Dazhan and Courtney had long ago moved away from Sarah, already up at the bar stools, sipping drinks. Courtney glanced over at Sarah. "Ah man… Sarah went into her 'gay rights activist' mode again." Dazhan groaned. "Oh, boy."

The Marine man scoffed. "Please. If I was drunk, I'd be fucking a pretty lady." He flicked her on the nose. "Got that?"

Sarah bit her lip, before calmly going on. "Listen, you _douche_-," The Marine cut her off. "Hey, girl. I'm a _Marine_. I can say whatever the hell I want. None of your business anyway." He turned back around to his 'friends'.

Sarah was fuming. So, she did something stupid. First she asked him his name. He replied, albeit annoyed, with the name 'Krieg'. Then, she kicked Krieg in the back of his knee, sending him toppling over. "I don't give a damn whether you're a Marine, the President of the United States, or a freakin' piece of gum on the bottom of my boot!"

Krieg made way to get up, a curse already on his lips, before Sarah started giving him a long curse word filled rant. She pushed him to the ground every time he tried to get up.

Dazhan sighed, watching her. "Wow…" She looked over at the door frame. A tall, green haired man was walking through it. Courtney's eyes widened. "No. Way." Dazhan high fived Courtney. "Fuck yeah. Strawhats."

Zoro glanced over at them, an eyebrow raised. "Can I help you?"

Dazhan shook her head, turning back to Courtney, grinning. "So, Gramma sent us to join the Strawhat crew! EPIC."

Courtney grinned back, agreeing. After a moment, she looked confused. "Is it… cold in here?" They both looked over at Sarah. She was pissed. Her face was red, and there was frost gathering around her feet. Krieg's hands and feet were pinned to the bar floor with ice. "YOU WANNA REPEAT THAT?" yelled Sarah.

Courtney stared. " 'Zan. Jump up on the chairs."

Dazhan did, along with Courtney. Zoro did the same, seemingly hearing what Courtney had said. And just on time too. Right after they had jumped, the entire floor was covered in thin ice.

"Sarah, sweetie!" called Dazhan.

Sarah looked at Dazhan. Dazhan pointed to the floor. Sarah blinked. "… Oops." She looked around. Marines were giving her looks. "Uhm, uhm…"

"BAR FIGHT!" yelled Dazhan, smashing a bottle of wine on the counter. People certainly reacted. Almost as soon as she said that, pirates and Marines alike were jumping up on the table tops, throwing drinks and punches.

Sarah ran over to Dazhan and Courtney, grabbed them, and ran out of the bar.

"Hey!" a gruff voice called after them.

The three looked back. Let's just say one of Roronoa Zoro's glares isn't very settling. Sarah gaped, her eyes widening. "NO WAAAAAAY." She started hyperventilating.

Courtney blinked. "I think it just sank in."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Okay i do not own One Piece, seriously i am **_not_** that imaginative.**

**THANK YOU! to Lou-Chan for helping me finish this terrible chapter.**

Also, this will seem very rushed, i know.**later on i will actually redo this chapter but for now you will have to bear with me. i plan to at the very least update once a month. hopefully i get to update more often than that though.**

**L**_astly_! i feel like such a meanie for not doing this. Thank you all for reviewing, i really should have had some shout outs last chapter but... I think only the chapters that I put up (mostly odds) will have the shout outs,Lou-Chan is too lazy to do them~ so, i would like to thank **Portgas R. Jade** (chapters one and two), **JediFanPadawan **(chapters one and two), **MyutsuChey3X **(chapter one), **Rexan** (chapters one and two), **little firework **(chapter two), **Youz** (chapter two)

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**Three Friends on a Pirate Ship**

**Chapter 3**

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While Courtney was trying to get Sarah to calm down Dazhan looked over to Zoro and kindheartedly said , "Yes? How can I help you... uhh..." She trailed off trying to work her way out of the bad situation.

'Maybe Grams did send us to be Marines... Zoro, BLINK! Fuck that's unnerving,' she thought, making a face at the unblinking swordsman.

Zoro just scowled at her. She looked to her friends for help, scratching the back of her neck nervously.

"I know that you know who I am… I just want to know if you're Marines," he growled.

Sarah seemed to recover as he said 'you're Marines'. The girls blinked and all started to laugh. Sarah fell on her ass and Dazhan was trying really hard not to laugh like a hyena. Courtney had to grab a nearby pole to stop from falling over.

Zoro arched a brow. "What's so funny?"

Dazhan seemed to sober up. "Didn't you just see Sarah hitting, erm, what was his name? Krieg, and freeze him to the gro-," she was interrupted by a loud crash.

Someone yelled out, "Hey! Pirates! Get back here! You are under arrest!"

Zoro, Sarah, and Dazhan muttered something close to, "well fuck" while Courtney just said "crap" (she never was one for cursing). Zoro decided it would be better to just run and the girls followed him. What originally took fifteen minutes to get from the town to the shore was traversed in seconds. Once in sight of the Going Merry they all sped up.

Zoro was the first to get on the boat, soon after Sarah, who somehow managed to jump and catch herself on the railing. Dazhan grabbed the rope and hauled herself on board. For some strange reason Courtney was already there helping Sarah get over the rail that she was desperately clinging on to.

"Set Sail!" a red-headed woman shouted. "We need to get out of here!" The girls recognized her as Nami right away.

Soon the anchor was pulled up and they were speeding towards the open ocean and the next island. Dazhan sat up, pulled her purse out, and started looking through it. The sniper known as Usopp walked by and, of course, tripped over her leg.

"What the?" Usopp looked down at Dazhan. She looked back and tilted her head to the side. "Who are you? … Wait, LUFFY! We got some Marines over here!"

Automatically the three girls jumped up and said "where?", clinging to each other. Usopp pointed at them. Sarah and Courtney gasped looking offended while Dazhan rested her face on her palm.

Zoro just laughed, walking up to the group. "They can't be Marines, the short blonde beat the hell out of some random Marine."

Sarah made a face at being called 'short'. She crossed her arms and pouted at Zoro. "I am not short! I am fun sized."

Dazhan chuckled and ruffled Sarah's hair. "Whatever you say."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "And the tall one started a bar fight."

"Well, crap. I didn't do anything." Courtney said more to herself than anyone. "And anyways if we were Marines there would be fire, screaming, and we would be wearing the uniforms."

Sarah nodded in agreement before Dazhan added, "Also since we would probably be low in rank we would be quaking on our boots right now."

"That doesn't explain why you are on our ship," Nami stated, walking to Zoro's side.

"Well you see, it was either: Your boat, drowning, or being caught by the Marines," Sarah explained.

"And we'd probably get executed," Dazhan shrugged.

Robin had now joined the members of her nakama that were starting to crowd around the girls. She was joined by Luffy and Chopper. "And why would they execute you, miss…"

"Bremmer Dazhan" Dazhan finished for her, adding a smile.

Zoro's eyes widened and Luffy, Nami, Usopp. Robin looked more than interested now. "Are you Betty Bremmer's Daughter?"

Dazhan shook her head, wondering why Robin would know her grandmother's name. "Nope, granddaughter. Why? Is she important or something?"

"WHAT? You mean you don't even know your own grandma's story?" Luffy exclaimed. Dazhan shook her head.

"Robin! Tell her Betty's Story!" Luffy paused, then continued. "Or at least explain who she was." Robin nodded.

"Betty Bremmer was the first witch to ever become a pirate. Just like Gold Rodger and Whitebeard she was one of the super powers during the first Pirate Era. Some say even without her powers she was a very powerful woman. But the day before Roger's execution she vanished right in front of Marineford. After that they forbade even the mention of her name, they got rid of anything to do with her, even her wanted posters. Very few people know or even remember what she looks like." Robin said, "Although, I do remember hearing that she lost a finger in an argument with the pirate, Whitebeard."

The girls laughed. "Well that explains her missing finger!" Sarah giggled. Courtney nodded in agreement, while Dazhan shook her head in amazement.

"I never knew my own grandmother had such a past," Dazhan mused. "Makes me wonder why she never told me. It explains how much she knew about Devil Fruit and why she forced us to eat them though," she laughed.

Sarah leaned against Dazhan. "I still say Betty is batshit crazy."

Courtney stopped her laughing. "Hey. Dazhan? If your gramma is a witch… Aren't you a witch too?"

Dazhan blinked. "… Holy shit." She glanced at Robin. "So, I'm a…?"

Robin nodded. "A witch, yes."

Dazhan blinked over and over. Her eyes seemed to widen with each movement of her eyelids. Her jaw slowly dropped into she was just gaping at Robin. "S-So… I can do, like…"

Robin nodded again, a light smile added to her face. "Magic, yes."

Luffy was gazing in wonderment at Dazhan. "That. Is. So. COOL. Can you do a trick?" he asked, his eyes sparkling.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "She's a witch, not a dog."

Courtney giggled. "She just found out about this you know. Right now, she's about as useful as a Muggle-born that just received their letter for Hogwarts."

Sarah poked Courtney. "Uhm, Coze, I don't think they know about Harry Potter. Sorry."

Luffy let the unknown reference go and nodded firmly. "Alright then! You can stay on our ship until we get to the next island!"

Sarah clapped her hands, and let out a 'yay' that was dripping in sarcasm. "What fun." She then seemed to notice something and whispered in Dazhan's ear. "Hey, where's Sanji?"

Dazhan shrugged and started talking adamantly with Robin about Grandma Betty and magic in this world.

Courtney glanced at Sarah. "Hey, what ever happened to that turtle of yours?"

Sarah thought. "I think… OH SHIT!" She reached into her bra and dug out the baby turtle who looked like he had been sleeping. He gave a yawn, ending it with a snap. "A-Are you okay?"

The turtle looked dry. "Uhm, uhm… Water! I need water!"

Chopper looked at the turtle and gasped. "Sanji! We need salt water!" he cried, running into the ship's galley. A moment later the blonde man came out, a bucket full of sea water in his hand.

Sarah gratefully took it and plopped the little sea turtle into the water. He swam around happily. Sarah sighed with relief. "Thanks."

Sanji grinned. "Not a problem, mademoiselle," he sang before walking off to talk to Nami about something.

Courtney came up to the bucket and lightly poked the turtle. "So, what's his name?"

Sarah shrugged. "I came up with a name earlier… but, I forgot it," she laughed. "So, his name is Monty!"

Sarah yelped as a piece of wood fell into the bucket. Courtney stared at it for a moment, then slowly looked up. "Hey guys. I think I know what arc we're in...," she called out whilst pointing up. Everyone looked up, wondering what she meant.

Much to the Strawhats' amazement Dazhan decided to do one of her vanishing acts and suddenly reappeared in the galley, pulling the helm to the right. The Merry swerved and a huge Ballinger missed it by a few feet. For about ten minutes, the ship was tossed around and was pelted with debris. Even a skeleton fell on Sarah which earned lots of curses, and many bruises on Courtney and Dazhan for laughing at her. Eventually, almost everything calmed down.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! AND YOU!" Nami yelled turning to where Dazhan was sitting near the helm and pointed an accusing finger at her. "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" Dazhan shrugged.

"She has always been able to do that. It just happens at random and we learned to deal with it," said Courtney and Sarah at the same time, shrugging. Dazhan laughed and stood up, making her way over to the railing and hopped over it onto the lower deck, somehow losing her balance so that she felt straight on her ass.

Once again, Nami screamed. "The log pose! It's broken! Its pointing up and won't move!"

Dazhan and Sarah whooped and high-fived.

"Crap yeah! Sky Island, Skypiea, and God Enel!" Courtney practically squealed and decided to join the other girls in their antics, dancing around in a circle.

"I still want his pants." Dazhan declared. The girls then started to decide who would go with who. Sarah would stay with Robin, Nami, and Zoro, Courtney with Chopper, and Dazhan with Luffy, Sanji, and Usopp.

Luckily the Strawhat crew was too engrossed in their own conversation to notice the girls. Only when Courtney walked up to Robin and asked, "Do you think you could be able to tell how old that Ballinger is?" She pointed to the barely floating ship not far from them. Dazhan walked up to the railing, facing the old ghost-ship and hopped up onto the railing.

"Yes, but I need something to help me," Robin stated.

"How about someone?" Dazhan asked, and soon after two large black wings sprouted from her shoulder blades. "I see something that looks like a coffin. Can I go get it?" she looked over her shoulder moving her wing to get a better look at the Historian. Robin nodded, and Dazhan flapped her wings and jumped off of the railing. After a minute or two she came back, holding what did actually looked like a coffin. Robin took it and pried off the lid.

"Damn it, I am going to have to wear backless shit from here on out," Dazhan grumbled, looking over her shoulder to see two holes in her shirt where her wings came out. "Sarah have you seen my purse?" Sarah took the purse from her back pocket and handed it over.

"Thanks, let's see what Grandma packed for me..." She shuffled through it until she pulled out a plain, dark gray, long sleeved, backless shirt. She looked up seeing everyone still distracted now, by a map that Luffy found on the now sunk Ballinger. She quickly pulled off her now useless shirt and pulled on the new one.

"Hey, Dizzy. Ch-check it out," Sarah said, trying real hard not to laugh. Dazhan looked up and almost fell over. In front of her was 'The Monster Trio'. In barrels. It was more comical than she expected it to be. Soon the pirates jumped into the water and it was very silent for a good twenty minutes. The girls had fallen asleep during that time.

* * *

Sarah woke up to Nami, Usopp, and Chopper freaking out. The guys' lifelines were going into a monstrous turtle's mouth. Needless to say, her jaw fell down a good few inches. Courtney stirred and Dazhan was dead to the world.

"Ugh... Wha-WHAT THE CRAP? Is that a turtle?" Courtney asked suddenly very awake.

The turtle moved and the Merry tipped to the side. Nami yelled out a 'sorry' and suddenly it was like someone pressed the off button for the sun.

"That can't be right... it's not even noon yet." Nami muttered to herself. Everyone yelped when something flew out of the water and landed on the deck. "Luffy!"

Soon after, Zoro and Sanji pulled themselves out of the water.

"Set Sail, some strange monkey guy is after us," Zoro commanded, obvious urgency in his voice. Sarah's jaw dropped even further as she watched something very large and furry propelled itself out of the water and landed on the Merry.

Then her gaze fell on the three huge shadows behind him. "Good God, that is way more intimidating than I ever imagined," muttered Courtney. Sarah just nodded dumbly and gaped at three Shandian silhouettes.

"MONSTERS!" everyone yelled, then everyone was rowing like their lives depended on it. Just as quickly as it happened, they were out of the cloud cover and everyone was ranting about how that day sucked. Then everyone noticed the monkey guy was still on board, but he was soon kicked off.

"That was, interesting" Sarah said, breaking the slightly uncomfortable silence. Luffy looked at her from his perch on Merry's head.

"Hey, you guys said something about Sky Island before, have you been there? And how did she do that wing thing?" he asked. Sarah opened her mouth to answer but Dazhan beat her to it.

"No, we have never been to Skypiea" Dazhan said, Luffy looked downtrodden. "But we did spend a good amount of time on one of the Sky Islands. We don't know much about the culture though. You could say Grams kept us very sheltered during our stay. Also, I have no clue how I did that. Just trying to be useful. But I guess we aren't... Es tut mir lied… I mean, uh, I'm sorry."

Luffy paused, then smiled warmly. "Join my crew!"

Courtney sighed, leaning against Sarah. "I knew he was gonna ask that."

Sarah laughed. "I don't think it's a request, Courtney."

Dazan nodded, smirking. "It's an order. One that we'd be happy to follow!"

Luffy cheered, earning a smile from the rest of the crew.

"Okay, everyone!" Nami shouted. "We're going to Jaya!"

* * *

**Here i will be answering peoples questions.**

**Rexan: Yes, Dazhan is supposed to be a Paramythia. also I decided since it really isn't cannon, she could be an exception. (but now that i think about it the Crow-Crow Fruit would make a comical Logia.) P.S. thank you for the grammar corrections i will get to them eventually, hopefully.**

**now it is time for me to go to bed *happy face(not really)* you just got to love moms~  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Oh, yeah. We _totally_ own One Piece. (And this, dear reader, is an example of 'sarcasm'. If we owned One Piece... Wow, that's a scary thought.)

**This chapter has been brought to you by Dazan (the authoress) and Sarah (the editor and co-writer). Please read responsibly. Random giggles may occur while reading. Do not read if you are on certain medication.**

Okay, it's Sarah. I'm the one posting, since 'Zan's comp. is being stupid, but she sends her loves. First of all, we're so so sorry that we haven't updated in over a month (fuck, it's been that long? ;). I've been sick lately (and lazy) and we've been totally distracted by stuff. We'll try out best to get another chapter up before the end of the month.

So, let me do the shoutouts so we can get on with this little shindig.

**little firework**, thanks for continuing to review! **justsoyaknow**, yes. Betty is based off of Dazan's grandma. Plumpness and all. **Youz**, thank you for continuing to review. Unfortunately, Enel-sama needs his pants for the moon... Hm... Wonder if he has spares lying around... And, finally. **Flareyphoenix**. Thank you for not only reviewing, but critiquing. You're awesome.

* * *

**Three Friends On A Pirate Ship**

**Chapter 4  
**

* * *

Dazhan stretched out, resting her head on Sarah's lap and groaned, complaining about boredom. All three girls were huddled up in a corner on the deck of the Merry.

Courtney patted Dazhan on the head. "Don't worry, we'll be in Mock Town soon enough. Hey, should we go with Luffy, or stay on the ship?"

Sarah nibbled on the takoyaki that Sanji had made. "I don't want to go anywhere near Bellamy. He creeps me out."

Courtney pouted. "I don't want to go into that bar either, I just want to get off the ship for a bit."

Dazhan lifted her head a bit. "Yeah, Sarah. Our hippie friend needs to be on the land before the sea makes her nuts," she laughed.

Sarah snickered. "Guess so. We could just hop off when we dock and wander around town. Will that help ya out, Coze?"

Courtney grinned. "I think that'll work. … Uhm, Sarah? I think Monty wants some takoyaki," she said, pointing at the baby turtle that was crawling out of it's bucket of water and stretching his head towards the food in Sarah's hand.

Sarah blinked and broke a piece of it off, handing it over to Monty. Monty devoured it and seemed to smile before plopping back in the water. "Huh. I didn't know turtles ate octopi."

"Hun, this is One Piece. This is also the Grand Line," stated Dazhan.

"Well, at least it isn't Sparta," mumbled Sarah, giving Monty another small bite of takoyaki.

Dazhan lowered her head back on Sarah's lap. "Damn, I'm bored. … I bet Ace is partying it up on Buggy's ship about now."

Both Sarah and Courtney burst out laughing. "That scene was great!"

The girls mindlessly chattered on about some of the funnier moments in the One Piece anime. Finally the ship was approaching the Mock Town docks. It seemed that as soon as the ship was docked, Courtney was off the ship and running through the town even faster than Luffy. Sarah and Dazhan looked at the taller of the blonde girls running from the ship's railing and sighed. "There she goes," sighed Sarah.

Dazhan waved a goodbye to Luffy, Zoro, and Nami who were now leaving. She glanced over at Sanji. "We're gonna go after Courtney and hang around town for a while, see you in a bit."

Sanji waved, hearts replacing his eyes. "Have a good time, Sarah-swan, Dazhan-chwa!" he sang.

Dazhan had to resist cringing at the 'affectionate' terms and left the ship, Sarah in tow.

Once the two finally caught up with Courtney, they found her running from shop to shop. "Hi, guys!" she shouted, running into a music shop.

Sarah sighed. "What do you wanna bet that she's looking for an MC Hammer CD?"

Dazhan snickered, watching Courtney run out of the music shop and into an art store. "And now she's looking for a tablet or copic markers."

Then Courtney ran out of the art store and into a… weapons shop. Both Dazhan and Sarah blinked. Courtney and weapons… this did not compute.

Dazhan and Sarah rushed into the shop and saw Courtney gazing around all of the elaborate weapons. Sarah strolled up to her friend. "Uhm, Coze? What're you doin'?"

Courtney smiled. "Well, we can't rely solely on our Devil Fruit powers, can we? I mean, mine is for defence, 'Zan's is for flying, and yours," she paused, staring at the other blonde. "… is just cold."

Sarah bit her lower lip, mumbling out a 'good point'.

Dazhan arched a brow. "But aren't weapons and stuff in our bags?"

Courtney nodded. "Mmhmm. But we left them on the ship, and if we come back with nothing, someone might get suspicious, y'know? That and I wanted to go shopping," she laughed.

Sarah rested an arm on Courtney's shoulder. "Okay… How we gonna pay? We can't steal, the guy at the counter is watching us…"

Courtney pulled out a wallet from her back pocket. "All of my money turned into beli!"

Sarah glanced into Courtney's wallet and her eyes widened. "Christ, that's a lot. Uhm, alright. Now, what are we gonna get?"

"Well I don't know, weapons? Seeing that this is a weapon shop," Dazhan stared in a sarcastic tone, earning her a whack upside her head from Sarah. "Or you know, we could just hit me… No wait don't hit me!" yelped Dazhan, right before Sarah whacked her head again.

" Ow… I think I'm just gonna be over here. Oh! Look they have pointy stuff!" Dazhan exclaimed, speeding quickly over to where they kept the daggers.

Sarah rolled her eyes before moving over to the pistol collection. "Guns are fun!" she giggled before looking at a pair of flintlock pistols. Messing with one of the two she got an idea.

"Hey, Mister Shopkeeper?" she looked over to the old man behind the till. "Is it possible to use seastone as bullets?"

He gave her an odd look. "You know, so I can stay safe," she added with a small smile.

"Actually, those pistols that you're looking at now can fit seastone bullets, made by the Marines, but I would suggest not using them too much. Seastone is extremely hard to mold into bullets…"

Sarah walked up to him. "But it's possible! So, uhm, you know where can get seastone bullets? Besides from the Marines…?"

The shopkeeper raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "I have some in the back… they're goin' ta cost ya an arm and a leg."

Sarah grinned. "No prob."

Meanwhile Courtney was taking a closer look at a pair of hardwood tonfas. She grabbed them and pretended to spar with an invisible opponent. After a few minutes she decided that they would work well. Walking over to where Sarah stood, she said, "Okay I'll be paying for her, the creepy tall girl over there, and myself."

At that moment, Dazhan walked up, holding two odd looking daggers in her hands. "Hey, guys, aren't these cool?" she sang, resting the weapons on the counter. The other two did so as well and let the shopkeeper ring them up.

He then went behind a door and brought with him two small pouches. "Alright, missy," he said to Sarah. "The tan bag is normal bullets, the black are seastone. As I said, they're expensive. Don't waste 'em."

"Yes, sir!" beamed Sarah, taking the pistols in her hands. Courtney paid for the weapons and then the shopkeeper pulled out three sets of weapon holsters that corresponded with each girls' weapon.

"Since the seastone cost so much, I'll let you have these holsters on the house."

"Thanks so much!" said all three girls in unison. They all put their weapons and holsters into a large shopping bag that was given to them and bid the shopkeeper adieu.

"Alright," stated Courtney. "Clothes next?"

"Yes!" shouted Dazhan, running towards a clothing store. Sarah and Courtney glanced at each other, sighed, and followed.

Clothes shopping with Dazhan… just great.

The two blondes entered the clothing store and saw exactly what they expected to see. Dazhan running around, practically plowing over civilians and employees alike. She was currently looking at a pair of red leggings. "Guys, guys!" she called over. "Aren't these cute?"

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Dizzy. Just adorable. Have fun with that," she said as she made her way to the clothing that was her own size.

Courtney appeared to have taken a liking to a flamboyant looking tee shirt that had bright swirls on it. "It kinda looks like the swirls on a Devil Fruit… Awesome."

After a short while, Sarah walked up behind Courtney and rested her arm on her shoulder for the second time that day. "Havin' fun yet?"

Courtney jumped, trying not to let a squeak leave her mouth. "You're a vampire, I swear… You found clothes already?"

"Yep. I got shoes too," she said, holding up her new outfit. A pair of black capris, a sleeveless black and silver Chinese style shirt, and a pair of plain black flats.

"Me too," Courtney grinned, holding up the tee shirt she was looking at, a pair of comfortable looking jeans, and green high tops.

"Me three!" announced Dazhan, showing off a backless black long sleeved top that higher quality than the one she was currently wearing, the red leggings, short shorts, and dance sneakers.

Sarah nodded. "Okay. Let's check out." The girls headed towards the counter and set their clothes on the counter. While all their stuff was being rung up Dazhan chatted with the sales lady about nothing in particular. Sarah suddenly got an idea.

"Hey, Miss?" she asked tentatively. "Do you know where we could find Montblanc Cricket or the direction of his location? We're fans of the book…" The sales lady raised her eyebrow, then nodded in the direction of his house. Courtney smiled, thanked her, and then they left to go to Cricket's house.

While they walked, Courtney glanced at Sarah. "Hey, why're we going so early? We're gonna be there in not too long with the crew…"

Sarah just laughed. "You shall see, young padowan."


End file.
